My Fear of Falling

After using a wheelchair for 13 years, there are many things that don’t cause me fear anymore. Mostly things like the way people look at me. However, in those years and for the foreseeable future, I will have the fear of going flying out my chair. Many people fear things without ever experiencing them or trying, well this is not one of those cases. In fact, I have two specific instances I vividly remember from over a decade ago where I basically “flew” out my wheelchair. By saying flew, I am exaggerating slightly but I most definitely fell out. One time I fell forward and the other I flipped backward head over heels.

The first time I fell was at a party and I fell in a very crazy way. I cannot remember exactly how old I was but it was early on in my wheelchair using career. At this party, all the kids were in an area outside of the actual party. Now, if you’ve seen a normal wheelchair you know they have anti-tippers on the back that prevent the wheelchair from tipping over. They also turn up and down which is important to this story. Mine were turned up because they would hit going up the makeshift ramp on our van.

Going back to the party, one of my cousins happened to be standing on the back on top of the anti-tippers. I, of course, was telling him to get off but he wouldn’t so I bent forward and with as much strength as I could produce I leaned back. Little did I know, he had stepped off five seconds before. I don’t know where my strength came from, but somehow the whole chair flipped back and I kid you not, my head landed on my cousin’s shoe. That, in all honesty, prevented a concussion. Obviously, I was in shock and started crying. People came running, including an older cousin, who was a doctor so he immediately checked me for a concussion before I was even back in my chair yet. That was the last time I forgot to check my tippers.

The second time I fell, I didn’t get out of it unscathed. It was a Sunday morning when I was ten years old. Now in my room, I had a mattress on the ground my dad slept on in case I needed assistance. On this particular day, we were setting up my first computer so I was quite excited. I decided I would help so I got close to the mattress and bent forward to grab some sort of cord. Well, thinking I was smart, I had not put my seatbelt on. As you can expect, gravity acted and sure enough I started to slide in almost slow motion. My dad ran from the other side of the room but by the time he could reach me I was on the ground screaming in pain. The worst part was that I missed the mattress directly in front me and landed on the wooden floor. Somehow from that, I managed to fracture the hardest bone in the human body to fracture, my right femur. I was in a leg cast for a couple of months. Ever since then, I have a mental freak out if my seatbelt is not on while in my wheelchair.

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